Being born into a culture at a time when girls were less valuable than boys, I’d develop an unconscious belief that “I am not wanted”.
At the time, there was no ultrasound so a child’s birth was always a surprise. Being born into my family as the second girl, I could only imagine the shock on my parents’ faces. Not to say that my parents are bad, it was just their instant reaction as their expectations of wanting a boy was not met with my arrival into the world. In fact, my parents are great parents, but I created an underlying feeling of rejection for myself.
As a baby, energetically, I could feel the emotions of the love surrounding me. But the fact was my parents were surprised that I was a girl and I somehow formed the belief that “I’m not wanted”.
“Nothing binds you except your thoughts; nothing limits you except your fear, and nothing controls you except your beliefs.”
How I have lived out this belief of “I am not wanted”.
This belief shows up everywhere in my life. The situation may be different but underneath the pain, it’s the same root.
How I co-create this belief in my relationship with my partner and others.
Unconsciously, I didn’t feel wanted so I continuously worked harder to go the extra mile to prove my worth. Because of this idea of never being enough, I became a servant to others and whenever I would be rejected, I fell into self-pity, self-blame, or loneliness even when I knew I had done more than what was needed. Oftentimes, other people’s rejection of me is really not about me. In fact, it was their own unhealed issues that I took on believing it was all about me. Really sad, right?
How I co-create my belief in my business.
I feared judgment and criticism so much that the image of being rejected stopped me from taking the actions needed to share my messages. I looked for excuses to distract myself. However, in the end, I always fell back into this never-ending cycle of self-pity because I couldn’t show up or I would tell myself that “it didn’t work.”
Do you see how a belief can sabotage the ways you show up in life?
The belief that “I’m not wanted” may seem so little, but the power it has over a person’s life is huge.
Simply having a deep-rooted belief can sabotage the duration of a person’s life and how they show up in the world.
The good news…..
“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.”
~ M K Gandhi
The thoughts you tell yourself consciously or unconsciously can make you or break you.
The good news is that beliefs can be changed into possibilities. As the powerful person that you are today, you can make different choices by being in complete awareness of your powerful presence.
Remember that outdated beliefs are not here to stay. They are here to educate you and empower you. Old beliefs can be transmuted into fertilizer to support your growth.